There have been many times in my life where I have doubted myself. It is that inner voice that I believe started when I was a teenage girl. “You simply can not do it. You are not smart enough, fast enough, strong enough, brave enough, whatever.” That dreadful voice. Then there are the people who seem to reflect that dreadful voice. You know the ones, the people who no matter how much you smile and try to be kind, will give you their worst face or their mean grumble/grimace. Why this is you try to guess. It could be your political beliefs, the people whom you choose to be friends with, their superiority belief, your shoes, whatever.
In these instances, I try my best to think of people and moments that have helped me quiet that voice. However, the very truth lies in the fact that much comes out of struggle. When you do doubt yourself, in that doubt comes the moment where you want to prove yourself wrong. Perhaps the competitive side needs this, even thrives on it, over and over again. The simple fact is hard work is always necessary, immensely beneficial and in the end, fun. It is also interesting to note that when you are trying so incredibly hard, you often meet people who want to help you, who inevitably will become your friend and will help change your life forever.
Windy 103.9 FM is the perfect example, a very exciting new adventure, that tests me daily. Yet, in these tests I have met the most lovely people. Bill, Dick, and Frederick I am talking about you, as well as the many others I have received encouraging phone calls and emails from. Thank you, my friends, for all of your knowledge, help, time, patience, and yes, laughter. You have helped me in so many ways and helped me find the joy between the airwaves.
When the doubt started, all those many years ago, my sister introduced me to a song. It was 1983 and is still one of my go to special songs. It gives me an incredible boost of confidence and the push I need. The reminder that with hard work and perseverance, anything can be accomplished. The movie that it is from is pretty incredible, and the video below displays all of what I talk about above. There will always be doubt and spiteful people. Yet, with the hard work comes realizations, dignity, and friendship. In the end, if you have the chance to help just one person, it makes all of it worthwhile.
The voice is then quiet.
“First when there’s nothing
But a slow glowing dream
That your fear seems to hide
Deep inside your mind
All alone I have cried
Silent tears full of pride
In a world made of steel
Made of stone
Well, I hear the music
Close my eyes, feel the rhythm
Wrap around
Take a hold of my heart”